As some of you know,  in November 2013, I began working at a prison in NYC.  Since my work in Mental Health had been exclusively in outpatient clinics for over 30 years, working in a prison was going to be a very different experience for me. Fortunately, the prison building I was going to work in felt more like a school than what I envisioned a prison to look like.

In the course of my work in the prison, I met a man who I will never forget. When I first heard of him, he had just been assigned to my “house”. When I arrived on my “house” the next morning, he was there, but I interacted with the inmates that I see, while observing him from a distance. When I was observing him, he didn’t strike me as the “dangerous” inmate I heard about.

Over the next several weeks, this inmate, who I shall call “Mr B” met with me several times. During that time, he made several suicide attempts, all of which were, fortunately, unsuccessful. Then one day, I arrived on the housing unit, and he had tied a sheet around his neck incredibly tight and connected the sheet to his hands and arms. The CO’s tried to cut him free but were unsuccessful due to the tightness. The Deputy came in, jumped over his bed, and took charge. She told him to “stay with her” and that he “was not going to die on her”.  She asked for him to stay still and asked for everyone around to hold him down. I held his feet and she successfully cut him free!

Immediately after that incident, I met face to face with the inmate and told him exactly how I felt. I was really angry and upset and I let him know this.

Over the next few weeks, this inmate made a dramatic change. He had always cared greatly about the other prisoners in his house, but he became increasingly caring. He also allowed me and other staff to interact with him in a supportive manner. Mr. B really cared about the other inmates in his house. He also allowed people to say how great he was doing with the other inmates. In addition, he was exhibiting major yellow heart chakra energies; a sign that he had healing ability, and I shared this with him. However, whenever he felt like he was a “good person”, he self mutilated because it was just too much for him to deal with. However, for the next few weeks, he didn’t self mutilate and appreciated the support of those he came in contact with.

Today, Mr. B walked out of prison a free man. I hugged him as did a few other professional staff in the jail.   I almost cried when I hugged him because he has meant so much to me. To be fair, Mr. B should have a tribute that goes on for several more pages. But I really want to say what I need to say.

Thanks Mr. B for being yourself. Thanks Mr. B for caring so much. Thanks Mr. B for teaching me what you’ve taught me. Thanks Mr. B for hearing me and realizing you are a really caring person, and are truly cared about!