Throughout my childhood and teen years, I lived my life by trying to learn how others lived their lives and adapting to their lifestyle. As an only child, I didn’t have any siblings to learn from or give advice too. So I tried to learn from my peers and friends, who, ironically, also were mostly only children. I was in a transition period when I was in high school but when I entered college in 1978 (a commuter school, NYU), life changed completely. Instead of following what others advised me to do because it was “thing to do” at the time, I took my own route. One of the best books I ever read as a child was called “Gordon the Goat”. Gordon always followed the lead goat but questioned why? One day the lead goat led Gordon and the other goats into a tornado. From that day on, Gordon went on his own path. That’s the way I live my life. When I was an undergraduate at NYU I decided to major in psychology. One of my Freshman year psychology classes required me to serve as a research assistant for one of the psychology professors. I looked at what each professor was researching and one stood out, Lloyd Silverman. Not because I was particularly interested in his research, but because I thought he was full of shit. So, I decided to try to be Dr. Silverman’s research assistant. When I mentioned it to my advisor, he said that Dr. Silverman never accepts an undergrad as a research assistant. I didn’t give up. I pushed my way into the graduate psychology building and spoke with his two secretaries both of whom were cordial and friendly. They told me that Dr. Silverman taught a class that evening from 8:30 to 10:00 and would be at his office around 10:10pm for a moment to gather his things. I waited at 10 pm and at 10:10pm Dr. Silverman showed. I had a whole speech prepared as to why he should make an exception and allow me to be his research assistant. But when I met with him, I completely forgot everything I was going to say. Instead, I said, “I would like to be your research assistant because I don’t believe that your results are real and I want to see for myself”. Dr. Silverman looked at me and said, ” Can you come by the office tomorrow at 2 and I’ll teach you what you’ll need to do”? That was the first realization of accomplishing a goal by just being myself. Recently, one of the inmates that I counseled before he was released told me “Bob.. you’ve got to get in touch with the child that you were when you were 6. Get back to that child who was inquisitive, who took risks, who wanted to learn.”He was right. Since working at Rikers I’ve almost lost that child. Prior to working at Rikers, I worked with gang members. I wanted to learn who they were and why they were who they were and they let me into their world to help me to understand, the same way that Dr. Silverman let me into his world so many years ago. People who don’t know me well don’t know how I’ve travelled the world.. to China, Japan, Moroco, Australia, England, Scotland, Wales, Poland, Ireland, The Czech Republic and Slovakia, Austria,  Germany, … the list goes on.  Whereever I go, I always wander off the beaten path, usually FAR off the beaten path, and meet with the people who really are representatives of their homeland. There was a Mama’s and Papa’s song in the 60’s with the lyrics “You’ve got to go where you wanna go, do what you wanna do”. That is how I live my life.  But the song lyrics that really capture my life are from “I’ve got to be Me” … “I want to LIVE , not merely survive, and I wont give up this dream of life that keeps me alive”. That’s life… That’s being alive!