Over the past few days, I’ve been in “group training” at my new job learning how to “circle up” with the “Missouri Model”. It has brought back a lot of memories and brought up a lot of thoughts that I’d like to share. Over the years, I have experienced several schools of psychological “thought”. Initially, I was trained from a psycho-dynamic perspective. Then I learned Minuchin’s theory and techniques and group and family therapy interventions. Over the years, the trend moved toward “behavior” therapy and the clients I worked with were very resistant, and, I must say, I was too. They felt that behavior therapy was the “middle class white society attempting to force their values on those who lived in the hood”.  Working with “those who lived in the hood” at the time, I have to say that I honestly agreed with them. So, I really wasn’t a fan of behavioral therapy. Then I got a job at Rikers, and, after several months, I was lucky to become the clinician on the “exclusive” CAPS program. The clinician’s role in the CAPS program was flexible based on the need of the the patients and after assessing the needs, I personally felt that DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) was a good method of intervention at that time. I taught the residents DBT and several were able to utilize it well. I am presently engaged in intensive training for my new job and the primary intervention that we are learning in the “Missouri Model” is circling up. Which brings back memories for me of 8th grade and Mr. McClaren’s class. Mr. McClaren recognized that I was quiet and that didn’t participate in class discussions. He realized that this might be a handicap for me in high school. On open school night, he spoke with my parents about this and they were defensive. But Mr.                McClaren didn’t give up. Instead, he “circled up” and during that “circle up”  he indicated that he needed someone to run the spotlight for an upcoming show and I was chosen to man the spotlight. What Mr McLaren did was recognize my need and offer a way to deal with that need.

I have to thank Mr. McClaren for believing in me and encouraging me. The same is true,, I’ve learned, with the Missouri model and I feel really proud being part of a program that focuses on what someone can truly be!

So on Wednesday, I get to meet the mayor. I guess his political advisers have convinced him to visit the “model program” that they anticipate other jail/prison programs will be based on in the future. The jail complex will probably be on lockdown all day and, if he arrives at change of tours (shifts) tons of overtime will be paid out since access to and from the jail complex is likely to be prohibited during the mayor’s visit. During the mayor’s visit, the word “revolutionary” will probably be thrown around repeatedly, and the “model success story” inmate will be brought out of his cell to charm the mayor and his entourage. In the meantime, the mayor really should be (but wont be) visiting the inmate who, although he was unarmed, is being charged with the police shooting of two bystanders. And as for that “model success story” inmate, he told me that he is really angry and upset about his personal information being shared with everyone who walks through the door. He’s got a valid point there. As the mayor leaves, he will be sent off with a chorus chanting “Accoutrements, Accoutrements” Why? He’ll never know. It’s a “CAPS” thing!

Our country was formed based on values and beliefs. On 9/11/01, terrorists attacked us and put our values and beliefs to the test. Sadly, they won. They won as they watched us react rather than act. We reacted by passing new laws that were contradictory to those we value. We gave up our rights and our freedoms. Now, by our allowing ourselves to resort to torture, we have further eroded what we stand for as a Nation. On 9/11/01, terrorists attacked our Country. Since then, they have watched happily as they see America begin working toward its demise. If this continues our great grandchildren and even our grandchildren may no longer have a United States to call their home.

Throughout my childhood and teen years, I lived my life by trying to learn how others lived their lives and adapting to their lifestyle. As an only child, I didn’t have any siblings to learn from or give advice too. So I tried to learn from my peers and friends, who, ironically, also were mostly only children. I was in a transition period when I was in high school but when I entered college in 1978 (a commuter school, NYU), life changed completely. Instead of following what others advised me to do because it was “thing to do” at the time, I took my own route. One of the best books I ever read as a child was called “Gordon the Goat”. Gordon always followed the lead goat but questioned why? One day the lead goat led Gordon and the other goats into a tornado. From that day on, Gordon went on his own path. That’s the way I live my life. When I was an undergraduate at NYU I decided to major in psychology. One of my Freshman year psychology classes required me to serve as a research assistant for one of the psychology professors. I looked at what each professor was researching and one stood out, Lloyd Silverman. Not because I was particularly interested in his research, but because I thought he was full of shit. So, I decided to try to be Dr. Silverman’s research assistant. When I mentioned it to my advisor, he said that Dr. Silverman never accepts an undergrad as a research assistant. I didn’t give up. I pushed my way into the graduate psychology building and spoke with his two secretaries both of whom were cordial and friendly. They told me that Dr. Silverman taught a class that evening from 8:30 to 10:00 and would be at his office around 10:10pm for a moment to gather his things. I waited at 10 pm and at 10:10pm Dr. Silverman showed. I had a whole speech prepared as to why he should make an exception and allow me to be his research assistant. But when I met with him, I completely forgot everything I was going to say. Instead, I said, “I would like to be your research assistant because I don’t believe that your results are real and I want to see for myself”. Dr. Silverman looked at me and said, ” Can you come by the office tomorrow at 2 and I’ll teach you what you’ll need to do”? That was the first realization of accomplishing a goal by just being myself. Recently, one of the inmates that I counseled before he was released told me “Bob.. you’ve got to get in touch with the child that you were when you were 6. Get back to that child who was inquisitive, who took risks, who wanted to learn.”He was right. Since working at Rikers I’ve almost lost that child. Prior to working at Rikers, I worked with gang members. I wanted to learn who they were and why they were who they were and they let me into their world to help me to understand, the same way that Dr. Silverman let me into his world so many years ago. People who don’t know me well don’t know how I’ve travelled the world.. to China, Japan, Moroco, Australia, England, Scotland, Wales, Poland, Ireland, The Czech Republic and Slovakia, Austria,  Germany, … the list goes on.  Whereever I go, I always wander off the beaten path, usually FAR off the beaten path, and meet with the people who really are representatives of their homeland. There was a Mama’s and Papa’s song in the 60’s with the lyrics “You’ve got to go where you wanna go, do what you wanna do”. That is how I live my life.  But the song lyrics that really capture my life are from “I’ve got to be Me” … “I want to LIVE , not merely survive, and I wont give up this dream of life that keeps me alive”. That’s life… That’s being alive!

It is very difficult for me to write this blog today because the company that I work for has restrictions about what I can say and to whom I can say it. Come to think of it, that means they are supressing my free speech. So, what the hell. This is MY blog and MY comments so if they don’t like it, then we can talk about the raise that I was due on May 4th of this year that I haven’t yet received.

But seriously, this blog is about a very serious situation that I feel very close to. First let me give you a couple of internet links http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/05/glenn-broadnax-_n_4392046.html and http://www.theepochtimes.com/n3/507677-hit-by-stray-nypd-bullet-a-victim-turns-to-advocacy/

I have had the pleasure of speaking with Glenn several times at Rikers. Glenn is a warm, friendly, unbelievably cooperative man who, I believe, is incarcerated for no reason. The scenario… you are trying to kill yourself by throwing yourself in front of vehicles. The NYPD shoots at you but instead, hits innocent bystanders. YOU are arrested and charged with Assault! The NYPD says that YOU were responsible for the shooting of the innocent bystanders by your actions. Yet, one of the bystanders who was shot, a Clinical Psychologist with a doctorate degree, speaks to the media and says that the NYPD is responsible for the shooting.

The days go by and Glenn, who for some reason reminds me of Shaquille O’Neal remains in the dorm, growing ever more depressed as his legal aid attorney tells him that things aren’t looking good and perhaps he should agree to a plea.. Really?

Things aren’t looking good? Frankly, I believe that the assault charge should be dropped against Glenn and as for the other charges, (menacing, etc) he might be sentenced to community service at the agency that the woman who was shot by the police runs. Now THAT would be justice! I can’t imagine any jury that would convict Glenn. Actually, I can’t imagine any judge who would allow it to even go as far as a trial.

This is just another example of injustices from our legal system.

More and more I realize that the Yankees are all about corporate profits. They are the only team I know that licenses their “official” caps to be
produced in every color combination imaginable. So the bloods in NYC are proudly “Representing” their gang with “official” Yankee caps in Red and Black. This also might be the year I win my bet that the Yankees will finish the season below 500. The way they are playing, next year I might win my bet that they will finish last in their division! It’s time to fire the manager and do some trades and get an energetic team together. But knowing the Yankees, they would stupidly hire Jeter as manager the way the Nets hired Kidd, and the downward spiral will continue. Frankly, nothing can save the team that once was a legacy. Why? The “Curse of the Babe”. How the decision was made to tear down the “House that Ruth built” is beyond my comprehension. In doing so, they sealed their fate. Fortunately, the Romans never tore down their Coliseum .

All the media attention is on Ferguson these days, and of course, Reverand Al is there to remind everyone that this is a race issue and make sure people stay divided. It’s a successful ploy to divert media attention away from Eric Garner in NYC. A man who one moment was selling “loosies”, and the next moment died from being put in an illegal chokehold by the police who were attempting to arrest him for his “serious” crime. Ramsey Orta, a white man, filmed the event. His video has gone viral and now, he too is in jail. I’ve heard, that they are now trying to say that Garner is to blame for his own death because if he didn’t resist arrest, the events that followed woudn’t have taken place. Totally illogical, and total bullshit. These days, however, people might actually believe that arguement as being rational. This is an opportunity for EVERYONE to come together, regardless of race to protest the injustices of those in authority. If the police get away with murder in Garner’s case, and I have a feeling they might, there should be a ton of protests in NYC from EVERYBODY not just the black community. And, where is Reverand Al?

As some of you know,  in November 2013, I began working at a prison in NYC.  Since my work in Mental Health had been exclusively in outpatient clinics for over 30 years, working in a prison was going to be a very different experience for me. Fortunately, the prison building I was going to work in felt more like a school than what I envisioned a prison to look like.

In the course of my work in the prison, I met a man who I will never forget. When I first heard of him, he had just been assigned to my “house”. When I arrived on my “house” the next morning, he was there, but I interacted with the inmates that I see, while observing him from a distance. When I was observing him, he didn’t strike me as the “dangerous” inmate I heard about.

Over the next several weeks, this inmate, who I shall call “Mr B” met with me several times. During that time, he made several suicide attempts, all of which were, fortunately, unsuccessful. Then one day, I arrived on the housing unit, and he had tied a sheet around his neck incredibly tight and connected the sheet to his hands and arms. The CO’s tried to cut him free but were unsuccessful due to the tightness. The Deputy came in, jumped over his bed, and took charge. She told him to “stay with her” and that he “was not going to die on her”.  She asked for him to stay still and asked for everyone around to hold him down. I held his feet and she successfully cut him free!

Immediately after that incident, I met face to face with the inmate and told him exactly how I felt. I was really angry and upset and I let him know this.

Over the next few weeks, this inmate made a dramatic change. He had always cared greatly about the other prisoners in his house, but he became increasingly caring. He also allowed me and other staff to interact with him in a supportive manner. Mr. B really cared about the other inmates in his house. He also allowed people to say how great he was doing with the other inmates. In addition, he was exhibiting major yellow heart chakra energies; a sign that he had healing ability, and I shared this with him. However, whenever he felt like he was a “good person”, he self mutilated because it was just too much for him to deal with. However, for the next few weeks, he didn’t self mutilate and appreciated the support of those he came in contact with.

Today, Mr. B walked out of prison a free man. I hugged him as did a few other professional staff in the jail.   I almost cried when I hugged him because he has meant so much to me. To be fair, Mr. B should have a tribute that goes on for several more pages. But I really want to say what I need to say.

Thanks Mr. B for being yourself. Thanks Mr. B for caring so much. Thanks Mr. B for teaching me what you’ve taught me. Thanks Mr. B for hearing me and realizing you are a really caring person, and are truly cared about!

I’ve been gambling at Casinos since 1985. First in AC, where I had numerous “comped” rooms over long weekends. Then in Salzburg Austria, Poland, Australia, Puerto Rico, and Las Vegas and Laughlin on the Colorado River.  I’m one of the few people I know who actually win the majority of the time in casinos. Most recently, I’ve been winning at Resorts World at Aqueduct Raceway.
Here’s how….

1. I play video Baccarat. Baccarat is essentially a coin toss, “Player” or “Bank” Blue or Red. .. “Bank ” (red) has a 5% better chance of winning so if you bet bank and win, they pay 95% instead of even money.

2. My betting system is “Avant Dernier”. which means betting on the outcome that occurred BEFORE the last outcome. The ONLY situation where this would cause you to lose would be “double chopping”  in other words,  two bank, two player, two bank….   The casino shows you what the recent winning hands have been so if you see a “double chop” pattern either join the double chop in your betting or wait for the pattern to change.

I also use a system where I bet $15. If I win all future bets are $10 until I lose, then it reverts to $15.  Today I used my system and was up $38.00. I decided to quit. Why leave now?  Well if I win $38 each week I go to the casino I’ll be ahead $1,976 at the end of the year. I suspect that’s better than 99% of casino gamblers do.   The key to being a successful gambler is to win and  feel good about winning with each visit regardless of the amount.

This past Christmas eve I couldn’t help but think back on that special Christmas eve of my childhood; the night that meant so much to me and I’ve remembered ever since. We had a 10 foot artificial tree in our living room, decorated beautifully with the spinning star on top. I was a fan of Matchbox cars and I really wanted the Matchbox Car Car Carrier that was in the Sears Christmas Catalog. It had an “attached” remote control and the carrier was very sophisticated for it’s time. The carrier detached from the cab and it was a double decker and the top portion tilted down to allow the vehicles on top to be removed.  I always opened my Christmas gifts on Christmas morning but that year, they allowed me to open my gift on Christmas eve. Amazingly, I can still remember every feeling I felt as I opened that box and saw the Matchbox Car Carrier. I don’t know if my parents ever realized how important that gift was to me.   So, I just want to once again say “Thank you from the bottom of my heart”.  and a Merry Christmas to all… and to all.. a Goodnight!